Scandinavian Summer...

..tentatively positioned after the winter and before the snow, is a true word of fiction, a figure of thought,a state of mind,lack of stockings , unnecessary long days(making me feel guilty of wasting more time)..best described as days of week or at the most weeks in months! Like 'last Thursday(19th) was warm and summer(y)...the sun was up and warm'..but overshadowed by my still unnamed niece's much anticipated entry to this world.

Red..tender..fresh skin(ed), his father's first thought was to put it back in the aquarium but better sense prevailed!

Danes, already the happiest people on earth(cycling on an average 1.3 million miles per annum),are super happy even anticipating summer.Its remains anticipated though still..this year!Sudden snow in the last week of April, some really cold and wet days in between, forcing the flowers to get back into their buds, colleagues shaking their head in disbelief( packing up early for the day in utter desperation) and the large oak trees standing bald in stark contrast to the smaller spring green shrubs as evergreen Dev Anand vs (n)ever-youth Hangal(itna sannata kyun hai ..).

But all not lost! The rising mercury inversely affecting the overall clothing, with occasional spikes,leaving you feeling much warmer and the heart racing faster than the Taxa meter for a change! The build up is near perfect for coffee or beer depending on your preference outside the Cafe's dotting the City~great company~garden get-togethers~Carnivals~Bank Holidays~fro-lick~sun shades~fancy motor cycles looming the street~chaapa excitement waiting to explode. 'longing for the sun..' Mitch,the fat and jolly Mexican , strums on.

'The weather is never bad. You need to be dressed appropriately' quipped Catherine over lunch. Essentially socialist thought with firm belief in equality and mutual sense of respect or sheer frustration? I wonder!!

But the sun's irresponsible time sense is more than made up my the society!You can set your watch by the arrival of the train, buses leaves at 9:03,offices opens at 10:05,shops closes at 18:00.Unlike India where for example any government Institute is governed by the below

i. May or maynot open at 09:00

ii. Might start by 11:00

iii.To be on the safer side, go after 12:00 and before lunch.

Someone,ofcourse,forgot the keys and nobody knows who got the keys! Arguments and mindless discussions leads to compromise on 'Govt of India must be having the key'. But then , who is the GoI?There starts the next round of talking the talk with the self styled experts in the posh studio, with rhetoric anchors and we watching from the comforts of our couch! And in between Dekho Lalit Faasa league masala, soft-spoken-over-educated Sardar wanting to 'move aside' for the other Rahul (the not-so-young prince and not the dulha), Didi blocking Calcutta roads,crying hoarse(suggest me a better adjective plz),blaming Buddha for Delhi stampede,motormen strike,AI crash and NY bomb plot!!

Super!!

Longing for the sun...be welcome

On the island ..many miles ..away from homee...

København H..

Rushing through the sky in a compressed metal capsule at neck breaking speed has , for me, always been a compulsion and never a passion! The flight-o-phobia was helped a bit by traveling Kingfishers family class( aka Economy) peeking into Adult( aka Kingfisher First) in the pre Deccan take over days.

However with the major European airlines choosing functional expertise over looks my indigenous anti-flying-woes remedy was of no use..leaving me exposed to the spirits.. mile high and free!!And after sprint to be the last passenger ,to board,with the not-so-funny observation from from a smart ass ground staff about my morning jog with 6 Kilo backpack was enough excuse for me to take to it with a vengeance.

A bong woman co passenger talking to her non bong in laws , about Motor shotir tarkari and cholar dal ,with highly accentuated O's and weird V's and never heard RR's almost made me protest..however her toddler, having suffered more than me, did it! A shrill wail till we crossed we crossed the Indian Ocean. Made a panicked Sardar (with family) to think that they can beat the plane to the tarmac, after touching down, only to be told the reality by a bespectacled cabin crew.

Mid way..high up..below..the pilots after informing about wind speed and outside temp(as if it mattered) crackled

'Ladies and gentleman , we have the best crew among the airlines industry.They are not on this flight though. We are at cruising altitude__for your convenience and and to enhance their beauty I am dimming the cabin lights.Thank You!

German humor __ Blurrp!

Terminal B,2 floor FRA, to smokers is like O2 to a dying patient. Living up to its reputation , as always, apart from offering the Glass rooms ,allows lots of mindless conversation and exciting encounters with fellow Desi's..'Hey, US?'..'ohh...U got the Atlanta flight'..'M ibm' ..'Damn,8 hrs more'...'long term or Business'..few anti feminist quips(self censored out of respect for my female readers who in any case out numbers the male readers)....and some over enthusiast or horribly bored quipping in with 'Bengali , rite?' Bongs has from birth the unique ability to sniff out another from the same klin.Even if you are sitting in a Sauna without a thread!

dB: "M going to Copenhagen" in a matter of fact and with much practiced flat tone.

A bright smile..mischievous twinkle, set up things just rite!

Btw cigarette will kill but the smoke inside the Glass enclosure can get to you much faster!

Few more kilometers of chugging with my 6 Kg backpack ..navigating the maze of terminals and gates..numerous immigration desk..security..airport staff in bikes..champagne and nuts finally landed me to the waiting area..and I met my first Danes friend,Robin, a musician, returning from Bali with a broken leg from a scooter crash! My future companion for grt times..excellent guide..tutor ..translator..

81 Valdermargade , Vestobrogade...in the land of free spirits and liberated thinking and my new base...for satisfying my hyper active curiosity..and unripened thoughts(quoting Partha da)

Belated B'day to the Queen (16th April) !!

skål :)

Auto-nomous!

Shopping for thermals and necessary woolens for a Nordic country,in the Great Indian Summer,was an experience in itself. Most sales assistants had their balls (eye) popping out, before going back in with a visual of me as an ass ,always conveying the Negative, in various forms of spoken grammar ranging from 'statement' to 'questions' or simply disinterested gesture.

On top of it the entire process of getting, convincing,haggling and finally surviving the ride to the shopping zones! No other things pains me more than handing over my money to auto wallahs. With all apologies to Autoyachar Mohato for not understanding that why should the auto driver also not enjoy BlackBerrys instead of Nokia N 70's and their kids pay Ps2 while yours will relish Xbox.

In Pune the quote is triple the reasonable amount based on distance. But calculating the reasonable cost will test your skill of multiplication by 7 of a 2 decimal value meter reading plus addition and finally rounding off to the nearest multiple 10.

As advance maths you can choose to divide the above value by per KM rate to get the distance.

Sonai,battle hardened and after years of living here, had once asked a driver ' kabhi shaam ko thappar khaya hai kya?' leading to much protest and flutter among the community along with demands of boycotting her. She though stayed unmoved and was ready to accept the refund of all her auto spendings. That never happened though!

With the driver putting out his left bare foot half outside and the right leg resting on the seat leg folded up below the left thigh and the phone glued to his right ear, the ride is always a more than adventure and less than disaster. ABS in hand brake and curtain air bags should be made compulsory asap.Period.

This art of insane driving in the even more insane traffic,with people feeling the sudden urge to stop and wish neighbour Kaka or Tai, needs to be protected at all cost if not for our kids but for highly beneficial future form of speed yoga.

Phew!

Bangalore throws an entirely different challenge.

Haggling for fixing the meter rate as in full, one and half , two and point 62 , four and five third

is the first part.Directing him to your destination will see you taken for a ride in a maze of one ways, full u turns, bisecting a shopping mall and coming of a some residential complex housing an IT company above a coffee day. All along in a mix of Kannada-urdu-hindi, not always in this order, buts always making you feel equally guilty of not knowing the where you want to go to.

In Calcutta,with the auto wallahs doubling up as party activist the pain is courtesy the taxi wallahs. The art of braking with a 3 millimeter gap,each time time after time,from all speeds and varying number of passengers ie min 1 and maximum depending on size, with drum brake will leave F1 research,designing and driving champs in awe.

A highly informative discussion mostly follows the flavour depending on his allegiance to Buddha Babu or Didi leaving you enlightened about fuel price across the country, deregulation,timings and location of next 3 rallies.

In NCR its all economics..with proportional increment from the agreed price will get you an convincing assurance of dropping you to wherever you want in record time,thrills of high speed driving inclusive and the choicest of words to fellow road mates as add on. Alloy wheels..leather seats and big stereo..

The black and yellow Fiat divers believes in no half measures just like the city! A mad rush or disaster! Not able to concentrate on the road while framing/translating sentences in Marathi

as been a common vice!

Chennai ! For reasons ranging from linguistic to social values a numerical sum is only what you can decipher from his response if at all he stops to pick u.

An immediate conversion of the above amount to dollar and a quick recollection of the taxi fare from Jersey City to NY will leave you speechless.Not that it matters.

The journey will leave you dumb founded if not with not knowing what to say but definitely the local FM blaring music from 2 woofers 3 twitters and 1 speaker.Killing you softly with his song...

Lets go.. ;)

And the award goes to..

...Junelee, not the distant June born kin of Bret Lee's , but a feisty and fiery bong girl, for being my first follower!
Not that it happened before i shouldered the blame,squarely, for her wedding getting postponed and a lavish gift whenever it happens!

A high energy bundle of answer-for-everything with a crazy temperament to tolerate me till late at night!She works late and her company is kind enough to allow gtalk ;)

The least you expect, the better you are,with her. Wow girl and great friend!

J(after reading the blog): Nice...u blog too?
dB: Thanks! why dnt you follow me..!

J:Will you mention me in your post?

dB: Of course!

A 'rare' silent moment.Thinking.

J: U bewra,no mention of drinks okk. I don't drink! And Rum..chee its so bad..
dB: Will Vodka be fine?

Some more silence... 3.14872kbs connection speed the reason

J: I don't like writing in Public
DB: Ohh! U dont have too really

The trump card.

'you get a chance to be the first', I prodded.

'Ohh...do I...then..ok...if you ...' before giving in for the never ending temptation cum competition of coming first.

Like a couple of million other of her countrymen,women and err..the rest, she is a avid cricket fan. Sad with the non showing of noodle strap Mandira's designer saris,revealing more and appealing less,and with a gut feeling about Tendulkar winning the man of the series more so with most able all bodied all rounders either injured,no work permit,or under aged.

Focusing on the more important aspects of the IPL that is;The Shetty gal may well bat after Yousuf and before short leg..the fielding specialist ,both are (s)exciting to watch and Warne still capable of hat trick if he plays the game...if you understand what I mean.

The cheerleaders walking across the side screen at will . Lalit, last heard, deciding whether to allow the footage for viewers in Pakistan.

The prince,not the one from Calcutta, shows some explicit timing to glide beautifully, to the fine leg-s,at the after game party,holding the desi IPL fringe silly mid on fielders in awe.

Dada, fresh from dadagiri, more appropriate and suiting, diving after the ball and chasing it to the ropes from mid on..inertia of weight.Elementary Physics.

Harsha, after the scalp surgery coining new adjectives after 'City moment of Success' and 'DLF maximum'.

SRK promising not dance till winning 5 in a row.Relief!!

Black to purple and whole lotta advice...sirf , Korbo Loorbo ..Bolbo ree

Paratha faced Zinta not getting a chance for jhapping her team and Ness ruling the show and she not ruling him any more.

Poker faced Sid,of Mallya fame..

Game on!!

Old Monk,New Bong

My Tribute to Old Monk..the good old dark rum which is probably the biggest import from India after Kerala spice and tandoori chicken and and just before Behenji.

You bring people together from sunset to sunrise,

You are a good companion, who comes at a very low price!

We bang on the shutters when the shops are closed late night,

We care a damn if we are unable to get a coke or sprite!

You’ve bought feelings, at moments of desperation,

You have been our mentor & inspiration!

We drink to our pain or joy, one peg at a time,

But no matter how much, no hangovers, & things are just fine !

They say Gandhi is the father of our Nation,

For us you are the father of our thoughts and creation!

Job loss, recession and Life in on docks,

Solution my friend is our dear Old Monk !!

If you are still wondering, this was written in office while searching for alternate career during bench-trimming-pink-slip days

Cattle Class(sic) ..more later